Sunday, June 20, 2010 by Joe Marino.

A prodigal son does not always look like a prodigal to everybody who is on the outside of the relationship looking in.  In Luke 15:11-24, we read about a son who is prodigal because he abandons the relationship with his father.  He goes on to live riotously instead of righteously, compounding the problem.  The real problem was the suspension of the relationship.  Sometimes that is all that a prodigal has to do to be a prodigal (abandon the relationship).

When I was a mere 26 years old, I took on a big responsibility. The woman I had fallen in love with (and with whom I am still madly in love) had two sons.  When I met them, they were 7 and 5.  Being that I had previously had a long relationship with a woman with children, I was very careful not to leave myself open to being hurt again by losing three relationships instead of one if things did not go well.  Things went well, and we became a family. My main goal in raising these two boys was to never make them feel as though they were “less than” anybody else in my family.  My parents and brothers all accepted the boys as if they were my children.  In our wedding ceremony, my wife and I included vows that I made to the boys that they would be full fledged members of our family.  As we welcomed three more children to our family, we never treated the boys as “less” my children than the three my wife and I had together.  When our oldest son was 8, he wanted to know what to call me.  We all talked about it, and I decided to let them decide.  They wanted to call me Dad.  Being that I never wanted them to feel “less than”, I could not deny their request.  At another point, the older son wanted to change his last name to my last name.  His father was still very close to them, and my wife and I knew that it would not be something that would be fair to him, but we also did not want to make our son feel as though he was “less than” a member of my family.  We came up with an idea:  Make him ask his Dad if it was ok with him.  Either he would not ask, and the idea would die, or he would ask and his Dad would say no because he loved him and wanted him to keep his name, which would lead to our son’s being accepted by his Dad, not rejected by me.  It worked out, and he still has his original last name and close relationship with his father.  There were career opportunities offered from the beginning that would have made our life so much easier (as maintaining work here on the Cape in my earlier time here was very difficult) that I had to turn down because we did not want to move the boys away from their father. We wanted to help them to maintain that relationship.  Sacrifice is part of being a Dad, especially when you sacrifice for somebody who you do not want to ever feel as though they are “less than” anybody else.

The father/son relationship that I had with the boys was very similar to the relationship we have with God. It is a relationship of choice.  With God, He chooses us, and then we choose Him.  We choose to maintain our relationship with Him because He never leaves us or forsakes us.  His love for us is unconditional, even when we choose to move away from Him.  He never makes us feel “less than” people who have followed Him their whole life. 

Often, a prodigal does not look like  prodigal because they are still doing all the right things, they just walk away from the relationship. My oldest son has made this choice with me.  Now I have been reduced to “less than” a father, even though I had raised him as my own.  The unfortunate thing with this type of prodigal is that there is not a sense of urgency for people who can help to help because it is not like he has fallen into drugs, or drunkenness, or any visibly dangerous thing.  He has fallen into the dangerous poison of resentment, un-forgiveness, and ungratefulness.  He has abandoned not only his relationship with the father who chose him, but also with my family who never made him feel as though he is “less than”, my children (who are his sisters), and worst of all, his mother, who is my wife.  It has caused incredible pain and strife in our home.  It has caused every holiday, every wedding, every graduation, every school play or soccer game, every single family event, to become one where there is a twinge of sadness because one of us has chosen to be missing. When my phone rings today, there will be a sad realization every time that it is not him calling to say “Happy Father’s Day”.

There is another complication:  a church is involved.  We moved away from a church where I was in ministry. The leadership in that church has been a complicating factor in this issue.  Through some action and a lot of inaction, they have failed to help bring about reconciliation.  It has caused people with whom we are still close a great deal of discomfort.  When I discussed the situation with the pastor, who was once a friend, he somehow confused my request for intervention and intercession for me trying to get this son removed from ministry in the church. He somehow thought it was a plea for revenge rather than a plea for reconciliation.  Once again, the desire to include bites me in the ankle.  That is all for another article that I need to write as well 

If you are a parent of a prodigal, the Bible has some pointers for you.  First of all, pray that your prodigal repents.  Only with God is this possible.  Prodigals tend to hang on to their prodigal ways because they become stuck in their resentment or feelings of entitlement. The gracious father in Luke 15 always left that gate open for repentance and return (as God does with us!).

Being a prodigal is an incredible waste.  In Luke 15, the prodigal wastes his wealth.  In cases like ours, the prodigal is wasting relationships, people, and moments that one does not get back.  Those of us who have lost loved ones know that you should not waste one moment of a family’s love.

We see that although there was a lot of loss of wealth and relationship, the father still welcomes the son home.  If you have a prodigal, always leave that gate open.

I love my children; all 5 of them.  The four who have maintained the relationship with me have always challenged me because they don’t behave the way that I want them to, think the way that I want them to, act the way that I want them to, or do everything that I want them to do.  The one who gave me the hardest time as a child (the second son) is actually very close to me now.  He has a wife who is a bright spot in our lives.  They have recently welcomed a son whom we love. Seeing our son with his son warms our hearts.  As much as we love seeing him with his son, we are sad that we are excluded from seeing our older son with his son.  My daughters are beautiful, smart, and talented.  They are also killing me slowly. I hear that will get better someday.  For now, I will simply love them in spite of how they are.  That’s what father’s do.   That is what my Heavenly Father has graciously done with me. 

 It is my hope that someday soon, I will be able to write an article here about the joy of reconciliation.  For now, even on Father’s Day, when I have four children who do recognize me and love me, and a wonderful father to spend today with, and a Heavenly Father who loves me, I join my family and we stare at the gate longingly, waiting for the prodigal to return.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010 by Joe Marino.

Did you know that there are several places in the Bible where Jesus actually says that He is God?  Islam claims Jesus is a great prophet. Many people believe Him to simply be a great philosopher/teacher.  Jesus, as C. S. Lewis stated, did not give us those options. By claiming to be God, He gives us a limited amount of choices.  He is either mad (thinking that He is God), a fraud (saying He is God when He is not), or Who He claims to be: The Messiah, Son of God, and in fact, God in the flesh! 

Some people do not understand that Jesus is God.  This is called the Arian Heresy.  Arianism, the doctrine proposed by the priest Arius, repudiated by the early Christian church as heresy, that the Son is finite and created by the Father. To worship Jesus, we have to know who He is. 

Jesus Himself Claimed to be God, Yahweh, Jehovah.   YHWH is the word that is the name given to God Himself in the Old Testament. No other person or thing is to be worshiped. In Exodus 20:5 we read that “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,.  Also, in Isaiah 44:6 we read  “Thus says the LORD, the King of Israel, And his Redeemer, the LORD of hosts: ‘I am the First and I am the Last; Besides Me there is no God. Then there is Isaiah 42:8  “I am the LORD, that is My name; And My glory I will not give to another, Nor My praise to carved images.”  Knowing this,  Jesus boldly claimed to be Yahweh.  In John 17:5  He says “And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.  If we look at Isaiah 42:8 and John 17:5, we see that if Jesus is not God then He is praying in vain..

Revelation 1:17 says of Jesus “And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead. But He laid His right hand on me, saying to me, “Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last”

Jesus stated in John 10:11  “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. Psalm 23:1  The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Jesus claimed to be the One who would judge. In Matthew 25:31  “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. 32  “All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. In the Old Testament, it is written in  Joel 3:12  “Let the nations be wakened, and come up to the Valley of Jehoshaphat; For there I will sit to judge all the surrounding nations.

Jesus spoke of Himself as the Bridegroom in Matthew 25:1, while we see in the Old Testament that Jehovah is called the same thing. In Hosea 2:16  “And it shall be, in that day,” Says the LORD, “That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’ And no longer call Me ‘My Master,’

John 8:58  Jesus said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM.” 59  Then they took up stones to throw at Him; but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.. His claim here was so bold that they took up stones to stone Him for Blasphemy. This claim is repeated in Mark 14:62 and John 18:5-6 The term “I AM” is the same term used for God in the Old Testament, and the Pharisees were mortified.

We know that the Bible in the Old Testament states that God is light. In John 8:12  we read “Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”  Also, in Psalm 27:1, the Bible  says that the Lord (Yahweh) is my light.

Jesus’ followers declare that He is God.  There are many more claims by Jesus, and the writers of the New Testament that point to the Old Testament that show that He is God incarnate. One which is powerfully obvious is John 1:1  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.2  He was in the beginning with God.3  All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.4  In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. Going back to Genesis 1:1  In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. There is no question that the Bible says that Jesus is God.  He is not only God though. He is unique in that He is fully God and fully man.  Tri-unity of God means that the Father is God, the Son is God, the Holy Spirit is God: One God, three distinct personalities. More on that later.

These are not all the places where He claimed to be Deity, and many other things point to proof the He is God, but this is some food for thought for now.

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Thursday, December 10, 2009 by Joe Marino.

Jesus gave us a choice, weighing these two poles against one another. 

We read in Matthew’s Gospel “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matthew 18:21-35)

We know these things, yet we continue to try to find a loophole, a way around this forgiveness “law” which is not a law in the legal sense, but is a basic, simple law of nature: We reap what we sow. If we sow the seed of a tomato, what do we get?  With one seed, we get a plant. We get this plant later on. Then that plant bears fruit, which is many tomatoes. That fruit is much more abundant than the one seed. What is that fruit full of? Seeds. Tomato seeds. What happens when we sow these seeds? Many more plants, many more seeds, much more fruit, bearing many more seeds.  We don’t get oranges from tomato seeds. We get tomatoes, we get them later on, and we get a lot more of them than the single seed that is sown.

Having unintentionally opted into the position of patriarch of a blended family with varied personalities, genetic diversity, and very opinionated people with very strong opinions, I have to remind myself of this daily.  I need to forgive every single offense so that they may forgive me and each other. I need to hold myself to account for unforgiveness as well as pointing out to them when they are being unforgiving, making myself a target. I have to prayerfully work out the peace accords, even when I am among the very wounded, or worse, when the ones whom I love are wounded.  Forgiveness of the betrayal of a friend or family member cuts deeper than any sword. The only way that an atmosphere of safety and forgiveness can be achieved is if I am willing to forgive without reserve and allow a “do over”, the way that Jesus loves. No matter how betrayed I feel, the betrayal that Jesus suffered is much greater. Being that He took my sin to the Cross and died for it, even though He had none of His own sin, and yet forgives me all my sin, how can I not forgive anybody else?  This has been easier said than done, but it is the goal.

Jesus gave us a model prayer. He said “  And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen [do]. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as [it is] in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.  And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Emphasis mine).  (Matt 6:7-15)

The only way to achieve peace is by walking the way of the Prince of Peace, the way of unselfishness and forgiveness.  If we are not walking in forgiveness, we are not forgiven.

It has been said that “unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.” Unforgiveness is even worse than that. It is like a sick suicide bomb that slowly kills the person who is unforgiving and everybody close to them.

I am not sure who Goldie Bristol is, but she wrote  “Pride is at the root of much of our unforgiveness. Because pride can prevent us from forgiving, excessive pride is often a characteristic of the unforgiving person. That person believes, ‘I’m far more superior than the person who hurt me. I don’t need him (or her), so I don’t need to forgive.’” — Goldie Bristol: When… It’s Hard to Forgive. 

Isaac Watts wrote in his Hymn “As I Survey the Wonderous Cross”:

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

When we weigh pride, selfishness, and unforgiveness v. love, selflessness, and forgiveness, the former is found quite wanting, especially in the eyes of our Lord. If we are unforgiving, even to the point of making things up in our own heads to be angry about, are we being more like Christ or less like Him? When we harbor unforgiveness, are we more like Him or less so?

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Saturday, June 6, 2009 by Joe Marino.

Sunday mornings are an odd time at our home.  We are up at a later time than we are the rest of the week, yet we still have the mad rush to get ready and be on time for church.  To  avoid the rush, I try to be up, showered, shaved, etc. before my wife and three teenaged daughters are in need of the facilities.  That sometimes leaves me time to catch some of the morning news.  Sometimes, this is a good thing, sometimes not, but it is part of my Sunday morning.  A couple of Sunday’s ago, I was having a particularly  stressful morning due to many different things that are common to most of us, feeling a little bit of frustration and self-pity at the situation I was finding myself in.  Then, a very simple comment from one of the stories on the CBS Sunday Morning program reminded me of something very important.

The full story is at http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/05/22/sunday/main5033650.shtml .  The story is titled “Healing the Most Deeply Scarred”.  It details a program helping men who have been badly  disfigured in the War on Terror.  The stories were heart-wrenching, but the exchange between the reporter, David Martin, and Octavio Sanchez, who had been disfigured when his Humvee was destroyed in Iraq, reminded me of a very important basic of the faith.  Octavio Sanchez’s nose had been totally destroyed.  Yet, in this, he still sees God.  The exchange that spoke to me  was the following:

“That’s not the nose that God gave you?” Martin said.

“It’s not. It’s not the nose that God gave me. It’s the second nose God gave me.”

Octavio Sanchez realizes and articulates something that I frequently need to be reminded of.  Whatever I am dealing with, whatever I am facing, whatever is provided to me, whatever is happening, God has given it to me, and I need to praise Him.

 Romans 5:4, James 1:2, Romans 8:28, and many other Scriptures remind us of these things, but we still need to see it sometimes in somebody else, that faith that reminds us to remember Who our King is.

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Friday, June 5, 2009 by Joe Marino.

We are getting ready to launch here!

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